Sorry, its a lame post. wtf~

Hi all, its been a long time i neglected my post. Never forgotten my lovely diary too, if not mistaken I've stopped writing since before my 21st birthday which was last year. Sigh, to the max! I do admit, eversince I've started my job "up there", I've been so lazy hanging over and get my things done. The only thing which in my mind is, I need more time to rest; dun bother me anyway. LOL! By the way, just trying to start this post with a random one but ends up, its fucking lousy. EWW!

Its been over some schedule I never really back to my home sweet home. But not for this month anymore. I'm going home, but just for two days. No plan, not going out at all cause I'm just TOO LAZYYY! Oh my, its bored. but i love -___-

Well, back to the main point again!!! STOP THE LAME-NESS!! [*scream!!*] Just to tell you guys that I'm trying to chase back what has left and to update what had happened during this mean time and what is going on and why am I often in M.I.A status and what with all the while emo-depressing status and and andddd....!!!!!

...and I don't know what else. SIGHhHHHhhhhhhhhhh~ :(

Seems like my life is growing older and older. I started to get lazy with the-FUN, bored with the-ENTERTAINMENT. Getting more and more speechless~ just wished to have a good morning everytime i woke up from my bed, have my breakfast-lunch-dinner like the usual ones, doing common things that what humans will do everyday, then ends up with a nice slumberland when the night comes~

ANYWAYYYY, trying to give myself some goal this month to motivate myself BACK! [*this is just a lame reason, sorry. -___-*] And the goal of this month goes tooooooo~~~~~ *tadaaaaa!* I AM GOING TO DIET AGAINNNN!! FUCK THE BELLY & FATSSSS! And I must make this success! Success! AND SUCCESSSS!!!!!! BuAhaahahahHHAha! >D

POST END!
*once again, I'm sorry for the lame-ness. FUCK!*

Bad Bad Life.

WishingLifeCouldProhibitHumansFromLove

...because when we are free from Love, we are free from sadness.

I'm back for 4days holiday again. I realised that my temper is getting so serious nowadays. And its all about the anger which created among human beings.

First of all, I have a bad time in my working place. People started transferring out one by one, never forgotten the one who resigned and the loneliness is gaining from time to time. Second, doesnt really good with any colleagues. Mostly because I don't feel like being good with any of them. Hatred is gaining from now and then. Nevertheless, pressure from my job. Who can I share this problem with? Does anyone out there who really can feel the way I am now? Sigh.

Its been a hectic month in this July. I've been given so many tasks to complete which is out of my position. I don't mind if you assigned me on any task, I really never thought of getting ANY REPAY. But not until "she" asked me what have I done which is beyond my job. I'm getting so speechless and wondering a lot what's the reason she has to ask, and seriously.. I dare not to answer because I'm afraid that she will take this as a complain where I AM NOT!

Hopefully all these will be neutralized back some day~
Back to the main point.

My mood is down to the drain nowadays. What's in my mind through out this month is just days being ruined one by one. Until the day when I'm back to my downtown, things still never stopped. I'm trying so hard not to give any respond towards any conflict which happened in between, but still I don't understand why people still trying to incite the whole situation?! Trying to gain my anger? Wants me to swear you? You know I can do anything which is beyond your perception but still I try to control myself and yet I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL YOU STILL TRY TO DO SOMETHING WHICH IRRITATES ME SO FUCKING WELL!! I'm trying so hard to ignore everyone of you, but still I don't know why do you have to bother my sucks life. Just doesn't understand why must LIFE forced me to hate the one that I love the most. And without denying, you guys have seriously caused me hates you for tones. Instead of asking you guys to die, I hope someone could murdered me!!

就是因为是亲人, 所以我才选择逃避..
就是因为是亲人, 你也不用那么过分..

Don't try to test my patience please, I have my limit.

Hi, emo.

五月天 - 温柔 (还你自由版)

走在风中 今天阳光 突然好温柔

天的温柔 地的温柔 像你抱着我

然后发现 你的改变 孤单的今后

如果冷　该怎么度过

天边风光 身边的我 都不在你眼中

你的眼中 藏着什么 我从来都不懂

没有关系 你的世界 就让你拥有

不打扰　是我的温柔

不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心

明明是想靠近 却孤单到黎明

不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心

那爱情的绮丽 总是在孤单里

再把我的最好的爱给你

不知不觉 不情不愿 又到巷子口

我没有哭 也没有笑 因为这是梦

没有预兆 没有理由 你真的有说过

如果有 就让你自由

不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心

明明是想靠近 却孤单到黎明

不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心

那爱情的绮丽 总是在孤单里

再把我的最好的爱给你

不知不觉 不情不愿 又到巷子口

我没有哭 也没有笑 因为这是梦

没有预兆 没有理由 你真的有说过

如果有 就让你自由

嘿~
我给你自由
我给你自由
我给你自由

我给你自由
我给你全部全部全部全部自由

哦~~~~哦~~~~哦~~~~

这是我的温柔

这是我的温柔

这是我的温柔

这是我的温柔

*******************************************************************************
Thank you damn-song for being such a companion for so long.
You have never failed to make me cry until today.

Holiday kills

Just back from Langkawi trip. As I have already applied for 2 days annual leave so that I could have more time to rest when I'm back to my home sweet home. Right after the Langkawi trip, I've back up the hill for one night purposely to meet some precious one.

Her name, EeLing.

Purposely back up the hill to have a-hopefully-not-the-last-dinner with her cause she has hand up her resign letter and her last day gonna be on the 22nd. As I will only back up to work on the 23rd, therefore already dated her earlier to meet her before she leaves.

The second precious one, Ah Chyi ♥

Her visit to Genting with her bf. Its been some time since I last met her. There she is, the dearest one ever. =)

After meeting them, I back to downtown for another 3 days holiday. Somehow, abit depressed for this holiday, felt abit wasted my 2 days annual that I'd purposely applied because I've been doing nothing. But matters are all over the way~

I've been told regarding a bad news. I knew that I am cruel to everyone because you thought I have no feeling towards this matter at all and not even a sad expression or a sullen sigh as response. But somehow, you will never knew how much I wish that I could totally ignore and doesn't even mind about it. You don't even knew I hope I could pretend that I never heard of anything or maybe I wish that I'm deaf instead, no? Sigh~ Perhaps when the day that we don't wish it will happened really came, I wont be able to accept the fact. But can you tell me, what else can I do other than pretending that I'm okay??

Anyhow, if there's really any misfortune in the end, I'm sure its a serious-grief.. but still, I am so sorry. *heartache*

170510

Lol~ Teaser of the day!
Guess where am I~~ :D


Have been busying with my current job lately.
Have no time to update the latest one.
But thank GOD, because I'm still not dead yet, NEVER!!

There's more coming up soon, will be re-updated, HOPEFULLY!^^

To be remember.

Just for a remembrance.
Without reliazing, things had happened for one year.

Back to one year past, I still remember that morning when I jumped up from my fuckup-slumberland in a sudden and picked up that damn-phone-call, immediately I burst my tears like I had never cried before. My heart is pain and feel like screaming my lungs out but I can't.

AND WHY?
...its because the pain is too deep.

I never had that kind of feeling before. The pain is even worst than anything in this world I can confirmed. And I also can say the feeling that I'm having now is still the same as the moment as I picked up the damn-phone-call.

My heart is ache-ing...
...and its always be.

I miss you so much, peeps...! *tears of love*

心放空了.. 寂寞, 好了~

Lately, nothing good happened. Just feels like I'm all alone up the hill and by the time comes, I'll be given a chance to come out from the cage and set for free for only 4days. Damn stingy. Well, fine. Its alright. I did realised I already get used to this kind of life. Why? Its because I started to pick up my phone automatically and call someone to send me back to my cage on a particular date. I am not crying anymore on the day before I leave. I am reminding myself everyday and night whether what should I bring back to my cage. I'm no longer counting how many days have I been set for free..

My feeling did mix up all the time. I do admit, I'm self-pressured. Little bit of mentally insane. My reason is because I'm all alone. I felt so lonely for times. Trying to tell someone but its unable to explain, even to the closest one. But when the time is right to tell, nobody is available. Therefore, slowly.. I've learned to accept that I'm far from my circle. Am no longer as the most active one in the circle. Yet never will be the most recent updated one. So this is the time I should be tough. I'm trying hard to get back to what I am last time. But the fact is, time is mean. Nothing can be remained as the same as before. There's no changes on you but that doesn't mean I'm not as well.

Just hope time could leads everyone understand...
Well, I'll wait... Hmmm~

Why am I always the chosen one...

Ohh little crystal ball~
You did really fall and hurt my heart deeply inside.

Just one simple little incident.. It drops and hits right on my phone screen yesterday. And it happened just right NEXT to my thumb. It never hits my thumb at all, but it hits my screen. If it hits my thumb, I'm sure my thumb will be bleeding. This is because it is a ball that made of glasses.

I don't even feel blessed because it never hurts my thumb at all. Instead, how much I hope that it will dropped right on my thumb and just let it bleed non stop. This is because, the scar on my thumb will gone at least. Rather than it breaks my screen, the scars that left will never fade. In another way, my heart bleeds..

I just don't understand why am I always the chosen one. This isn't the main thing that I gone so emo for sure. There's alot more other particular things that really brought me down. And the fact is, nothing good ever happen to me before since this Lunar Year started.

I'm sad, seriously depressed. My grayish-life has back again. I started to hate again when I heard of the sound of laughter. Its been so long I never into this kind of feeling already. And now you are back into my life again. Somebody told me, "Memories are just a part of my life. It lost and gone is because HE don't want me to bear them in mind and we have to forsee the-future." But the fact is, you don't even know how much I treasured the past rather than the present.

I'm just trying to look for a person who could really understand the way I feel.
But where should I find this person?

...I just feel like dying once again.
I really need a hand.

I am veryyyyyy awesome tired.

Random December, 2009.

Its been awhile since my last post. Procrastination kills.. Owww~ I've been so lazy since I started my job on top of that hill~ And therefore I started this post with a random one.

I'm passing my birthday in Genting, working in the middle of the night. Just right on time when the clock turns to 12am, I had my break time. Phone started to beeps, messages non stop coming in. Thank you so much my dear friends. I do really have a great time receiving all the wishes and blesses. In one word, I'm happy. :D

Since I've been to Genting, I stop wishing some friends on their birthday. I already no longer sending birthday greetings with my heart by typing a long wishes and send it on time. I admit I've neglected some of you. No reason will be given. But just one word that I wish to say, I'm sorry for my carelessness, my friends. But you guys are always right in my heart. =]

Well well, back to the point. On the 6th of Dec, my big day. Silver and WengYu gonna break with me at 12am. At first never really thought anything will happen but until WengYu brought me a plate of ICE CREAM and said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" together with Silver, wow~ I was.. touched. =]



And then I asked, Birthday plate should have a candle.. WHERE?!
And then WengYu put a straw on it. -___-

I'm speechless..
and obviously, its more like praying. HAHAHA~
Anyway, I'm Happy~~
Thank you, Love.^^

NEXT!
Lookkk at thisss!

The New Member in our room.. GUESS WHAT!

Jyeshui's New LAPPIEEEE~~~~
Something that could KILLS our BOREDOM!
Its like, OMG! Heaven! :D

Follow on.. see this!

22nd of December, Solstice day~

Every year, my siblings and I will help my mum to prepare for this particular day because its our FAVOURITEEEE! But this year, sigh, not having the chance to celebrate together with my family cause I have to work. Hmmm~ But thank god, we have Beckham (Silver's husband). Its so surprise that I could eat some on that day while I'm working! woohoo^^

Its Christmas then~!
For the first time ever I never countdown for Christmas. I still remember on the 24th, I went back to my room and sleep at around 10pm. Neither any of my friends do believe that I really do this. LOL! Well, reason? Its because I'm not in the mood at all. Nobody with me, I'm not with my friends. I'm alone here.. Sounds sad? LOL! NAHH~ Its actually I'm tired okayy. Hee~ :]

But not to the worst, our Casino Marketing stilled will compliment us with some gifts. Early in the morning when I check in, our AM asked us to pick a number and get our gift. LOL~ not too bad. I get a Christmas cup. Ha!

*Here are the gifts*

And Hsiyu with her Darling Yida came for a visit. Well, they brought me my birthday gifts. Its from her, Ying, Leen, CheeBet Siang & SeaLee. THANK YOU BABES! :D

Inilah dia!

Thank you so much^^
I love you guys!

And this is it, the random month of Dec. =]